I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
