Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
