last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
