Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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