im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
