PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
