any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize