Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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