I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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