i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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