hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
