just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
it wasn't lemon gatorade
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
