Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
