the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
i now understand why vodka
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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