in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
