well I can't set my house on fire every night
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
