I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Send help, water and tortillas.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
