what if every blade of grass was a penis?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
