Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
