I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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