Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
