Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
