He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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