Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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