So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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