I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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