do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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