i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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