but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
