While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
