She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
