Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
