3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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