Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
