Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
