So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
