I think I died a long time ago.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
