too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
