Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
