3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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