Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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