TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
