pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
