I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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