blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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