dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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