You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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