R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Thank you for not boning my boss.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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