office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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