I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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