I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize