Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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