Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
