In the future we'll all be gay
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
