I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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