I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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