I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
